Psalm 16:7-13

On Thursday morning, I found out that I had to lead a devotional for the entire Agape staff. What the heck was I supposed to say? I was not in the mood to give a devotional nor did I feel like I had any place to say anything that morning but I asked God to be the speaker. I knew Psalms were a pretty reliable place to base a devotional applicable to everybody but... there are a lot of Psalms. I had no idea why at the time but I was lead to this:

Psalm 16:7-13

"I will praise praise the Lord, who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

I have set the Lord always before me.

Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

my body also will rest secure,

because you will not abandon me to the grave,

nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

You have made known to me the path of life;

you will fill me with joy in your presence,

with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

After I read that out loud to the staff, I just felt so spirit-filled. It was this strange kind of outer-body experience. It was like listening to somebody else but I was able to hear what God had to say through me and I was just taking it all in. See, things have not been so peachy lately as to where "my heart is glad" or "my body will rest secure." But I was shown that God still reigns in all His sovereignty. He has already gone before me. He knows every circumstance in my life, inside and out. He "will not abandon me."

Worrying does nothing for our lives. I know I probably talk a lot about worry but it's obviously something I have struggled with and I'm tired of it. It encompasses everything that God would never intend for us to feel: stress, anxiety, emotional baggage... All of those things exclude the joy of the Lord and it forces us to turn our eyes upon things other than him. Worry is a god in itself. My God is so much better than that. Because my God is so faithful, so loving, so caring in "making known to me the path of life", I truly can rejoice. My body and my soul can take rest in Him. I'm so tired of getting rocked by these waves of life that come crashing over me time and time again.

This whole "total trust" concept is working so well. It's always hard for me to find peace like this until I give in, until I give it all up to Christ. Once that happens, He shows me that He is all that I need. He is all that I will ever, ever need. Everything else to come that is good is a complete blessing from Him; friendships, serving, and relationships.

Give up and give in, it's a beautiful surrender in the end.

I love you God. Even though I don't always like what I have to go through or understand it at the time, I know that you always work out everything for my good. Only you know what is best for me. Nothing is too big or great or impossible for you Jesus. You've already conquered the impossible. You did not see decay. So I'm trusting you Jesus with all that I have. If I don't, I'm a lost wretch. Thank you for guidance, grace, peace, and love in my life. I love you Jesus.

To be nothing

Why am I so concerned about "me"? God used some awesome people this week to truly speak to my heart. One person asked, "How many times a day, or even in an hour, do you think about what other people think about you?" I couldn't even count how many times I have thought that within a single day. Then she asked, "Ok, now how many times a day do you think about what God thinks of you?" Oh my goodness, I just wanted to hide my face an cry because I knew the answer to that. I'm so ridiculous. Here, I thought I was striving to be this selfless person and to serve others but when you're asked a question like that you realize how truly selfish you are. Why do I try to be something so awesome for other people, whether its just for a few close people in my life or for an audience, when Jesus came to this earth to make himself nothing for me? Gosh, Jesus could have been so like, "Look at me, I'm completely awesome!" But he was nothing like that. He had every right to be like that and was more deserving of that that anyone to ever exist but like I said, he didn't want to ever be like that.

That right there just brings me back down to reality. It truly humbles my spirit and truly makes me despise approval seeking. Galations 1:10 says, " Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." That hits you in the chest like a sledgehammer because no matter how much we think we don't care about what other people think about us, we still care a lot more about that than what we think God thinks about us. Nobody else is my judge, nobody else loves me as He does, and nobody gave their only son who bore all of my sin. Only God did that, and that is the only approval that I need to seek... ever. His opinion is the only thing that matters... ever.