To be nothing

Why am I so concerned about "me"? God used some awesome people this week to truly speak to my heart. One person asked, "How many times a day, or even in an hour, do you think about what other people think about you?" I couldn't even count how many times I have thought that within a single day. Then she asked, "Ok, now how many times a day do you think about what God thinks of you?" Oh my goodness, I just wanted to hide my face an cry because I knew the answer to that. I'm so ridiculous. Here, I thought I was striving to be this selfless person and to serve others but when you're asked a question like that you realize how truly selfish you are. Why do I try to be something so awesome for other people, whether its just for a few close people in my life or for an audience, when Jesus came to this earth to make himself nothing for me? Gosh, Jesus could have been so like, "Look at me, I'm completely awesome!" But he was nothing like that. He had every right to be like that and was more deserving of that that anyone to ever exist but like I said, he didn't want to ever be like that.

That right there just brings me back down to reality. It truly humbles my spirit and truly makes me despise approval seeking. Galations 1:10 says, " Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." That hits you in the chest like a sledgehammer because no matter how much we think we don't care about what other people think about us, we still care a lot more about that than what we think God thinks about us. Nobody else is my judge, nobody else loves me as He does, and nobody gave their only son who bore all of my sin. Only God did that, and that is the only approval that I need to seek... ever. His opinion is the only thing that matters... ever.